“Do the kids clearly understand what their roles and responsibilities are in school and in the home? Do they understand why these things are important and the goals they help accomplish? And have you shifted the responsibility to them for completing these things?” she says. “In other words, household responsibilities need to happen for the household to run smoothly. The children aren’t ‘helping’ me by doing these things; they are contributing to the family in a meaningful way. If dishes are not cleaned and available, I can’t use them to cook dinner, and everyone gets hungry. We build in natural consequences and make sure the children know them so that we don’t have to motivate, cajole, or incentivize them to get things done.”
This, too, can function a motivator for varsity and homework. It pushes the thought of intrinsic motivation fairly than exterior motivation.
“There are, of course, many times that kids don’t want to work. There are also many times I don’t want to work. But kids don’t stop being hungry, and the household doesn’t stop needing certain tasks done just because I don’t want to work,” she says. “We’ve established a transparent expectation that family duties and college duties are required and made positive the children have the instruments to get these items performed with out frustration. We have if/then charts to remind them of these items and reply the potential questions: ‘If I end my morning duties, then I can exit and play.’ This approach, they’ve clear motivation, and it reduces the questions and selections I’ve to make.