What Makes Love Fade In Long-Term Relationships? A Psychologist Explains


When two folks fall head over heels in love, they’re in love with both who they see in one another, or who they suppose they see, or who the individual is presenting themselves to be. Often, they fall “in love” with how they’re being cherished, somewhat than how a lot love they really really feel for the opposite individual.

But except they’ve every finished deep therapeutic work on their fears of rejection (the worry of shedding the opposite individual) and their fears of engulfment (the worry of shedding themselves within the relationship), inevitably these fears will emerge within the relationship. When they do, controlling habits additionally emerges.

Whether it’s overt management (such because the anger or blame that come from an anxious attachment style stemming from a worry of rejection) or covert management (such because the compliance, resistance, or withdrawal that stem from an avoidant attachment style), controlling habits erodes in-love emotions.

Keeping the love between you alive signifies that, when your fears of lack of different or lack of self emerge, you determine to make the most of the connection to be taught and heal somewhat than to guard towards what you worry along with your numerous types of controlling habits.


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